


The Hollywood Honksman

by TheDarkMetalLady



Category: Gloryhammer (Band)
Genre: Crack, Funny, Gen, do not take this seriously, truck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:56:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23531950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDarkMetalLady/pseuds/TheDarkMetalLady
Summary: Honk.
Comments: 13
Kudos: 14





	The Hollywood Honksman

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the Gloryhammer characters. Please note that this story is about the _characters represented by the band_ and **not** about the band members themselves.

It was a very evil day in the intergalactic space kingdom of Fife. A wicked downpour plagued the land, with winds that threatened to knock over any human or goblin who failed to find shelter from the mighty onslaught. Lightning struck at frequent random intervals, as it did on all perfectly dramatic nights, and the booms of thunder shook the ground. 

In the long-abandoned caves beneath the mighty citadel of Dundee, the dark emperor Zargothrax -- the evilest wizard of all! -- was preparing his mighty spells, in preparation for when he would finally get his revenge upon that wretched McFife. It had been centuries,  _ centuries _ , since he had been frozen in liquid ice -- and now, he would set the universe on fire so that he could feel the warmth as it burned. 

He had no fears of being found or disturbed. After all, no mortal fool in their right mind would ever think to disturb him, much less consider searching these ancient and long-forgotten caves. His victory was assured indeed, and he would destroy the planet while the Forces of Justice were too busy squabbling with one another over petty political reasons like “funding.” 

As his mighty spells approached towards completion, a loud, blaring sound suddenly shattered the dark wizard’s concentration. He yelled in frustration as the amassed energy of the spell faded to nothingness, putting ten hours of work down the Scumdonian drains. 

_ Who dared disturb his work!?  _

HONK!

Led by pure fury and with dark swirls of magic radiating off of him, Zargothrax stormed out of the cave, determined to eviscerate the source of the noise. He stormed out of the caves and into the pouring rain, ignoring the way the disgusting water was cold and clung to his skin. 

**_“WHO DARES DISTURB MY WORK!?”_ **

Lightning struck, followed by a punctuation of dramatic thunder. 

Zargothrax glared at the countryside, as if daring for whatever it was that had made the maddening noise to come out and face him itself. 

There was a slightly brightening light coming from behind him, but it was unimportant if it was not the source of the noise.

**_HONK! HONKHONK!_ **

The dark wizard Zargothrax did not get the chance to turn around in time to see the large truck that ran him over. The only thing he heard before darkness took him was an infuriatingly familiar voice, yelling:

_ “Get out here and stop camping, you sweaty wizard! _

**Author's Note:**

> Based on some events from Chris's and Jim's (Hootsman's) livestreams.


End file.
